The Cooler

There's lots of news for you to digest this morning with your breakfast. Let's check some of it out.

A- Herald: Only in Hialeah.

Of the 31 absentee ballots that have become the focus of an investigation into possible election fraud in Hialeah, at least one appears to have a forged signature.

The ballot belonged to Zulema Gómez, 81, who entered a nursing home five months ago suffering from Alzheimer’s and a brain tumor. On the ballot’s envelope someone wrote: “The lady is my sister. I sign like this because she has arthritis + she has difficult signing. Thank you.”

However, her sister, Olga Gómez, said Wednesday that she never wrote that message.

B- Herald: Fabiola Santiago on Rick Scott.

Eighteen months in office should have taught him he can’t get away with misrepresentations without the media getting wind of it. But with all those liberal-haters egging him on, he must feel he has all the support he needs to steamroll the public-records law. But he underestimates Floridians.

“We don’t support you,” a Fernandina Beach man wrote in a one-line email to the governor, “and will work and vote against you next time out."

C- Herald: Slideshow, billboard along I-95 in Miami-Dade is made of 127,000 pennies.

D- Herald: They write letters.

Sign of the times

In the I-95 North express lanes recently, a sign taped to the back window of a slow-moving car said: “I’m driving 55 mph to save money.” I suspect the driver felt he should explain himself for driving 20 miles per hour slower than the average express-lane driver. Maybe he hoped to forestall the inevitable bullying that occurs when you aren’t doing what the driver behind you thinks you should do.

It was an effective sign. I wonder if other South Florida drivers could be persuaded to do the same: “I’m not going to let you merge because I really couldn’t care less,” or “I’m swerving into your lane and almost sideswiping you because I’m texting my boyfriend and we’re actually in a huge fight right now.”

Or simply, “I’m a jerk. Expect the worst.” Sadly, with so many of the drivers you don’t need a sign to publicize this one, just a Florida license plate.

Noelle J. Coates, Davie

E- TC Palm: The passing of "Dr. Bob the Bug Man.

"They called him "Dr. Bob the Bug Man."

For more than 40 years, he was the go-to guy for anyone in the citrus industry on the Treasure Coast with a pest problem.

Dr. Robert "Bob" Bullock died Tuesday at age 87 of complications from hip replacement surgery. He will be remembered as a titan of the golden age of Florida citrus during the 1970s and 1980s for his pioneering work in entomology — the science of insects.

[...]

Bullock introduced a variety of methods to control citrus pests, but was a pioneer in integrated pest management, often using beneficial insects and even fungi to control dangerous insects rather than relying only on chemical spraying.

He's regarded as one of the early proponents of "green" pest control techniques and even had a bug and a fungus named after him.

F- TC Palm: Whatever happened to good old-fashioned hazing?

STUART — Three men who are accused of carjacking a landscaper Wednesday afternoon told deputies the incident was part of a gang initiation, according to a Martin County Sheriff's Office news release.

Detectives charged Odell J. Lee, 22, Timothy J. Richardson, 31, and Joell C. Riggins, 29, all with felony armed carjacking.

Riggins, of the 900 block of Southeast Dixie Lane, told detectives that Lee, of the 500 block of Southeast Ron Rico Terrace, Port St. Lucie, was to perform a robbery for a gang initiation, reports state.

G- Miami Today: But then, we already knew that, right?

Brickell's inventory of distressed condos is dissipating rapidly, sending prices higher and generating some new construction. While newer units are more popular, brokers say, the best of the older buildings are still holding their value.

"Distressed properties are disappearing," said Ron Shuffield, president of Esslinger Wooten Maxwell Realtors, also known as EWM.

H- CBS4: So maybe government can do it better than private industry.

City commissioners voted 5-0 to create an in-house lifeguard program. Instead of a private company, the fire department will oversee the lifeguard program. New lifeguards hired will be trained like paramedics and will cover the entire city beach.

The city’s contract with Jeff Ellis Management for lifeguard services expires at the end of September.

Ellis recently came under criticism when it fired lifeguard Tomas Lopez for leaving his coverage area to save a drowning man.

I- NBC Miami: Perfect fit for Miami.

Miami Dolphins WR Chad Johnson has a reputation as a man who does not mince his words, and he lived up to it on Wednesday, when he made his first press conference appearance as a Dolphin.

[...]

He has a plan just in case he gets cut, though. "Thinking about going into porn," he said. "It's not funny. I got to earn a living. I'm being serious. I mean, that's what I would do."

J- WPLG: Remember, it's not the breed.

HALLANDALE BEACH, Fla. - A Hallandale Beach family tells Local 10 two pit bulls attacked and killed his dog on Tuesday.

Angelica Melendez and her daughter Angelina were walking their 7-year-old Shih Tzu Buster a couple blocks from their Hallandale Beach home on Tuesday when the 15-pound dog was ripped from their arms by two pit bulls.

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