Everyone has their least favorite stretch of South Florida roadway. You know that place. It's where you refuse to go during a particular time or day because you know it's going to be absolutely FUBAR and you will wind up wasting gobs of time.
Well, I have 5 of these special pieces of Asphalt Paradise in South Florida that I'm about to tell you about. None of them are bad all the time [well, maybe one] so I'll also give you the day and hours that I find them at their worse. Here we go...
The Palmetto
Where: 836 north to the Golden Glades
When: Any weekday between 6 AM and 8 PM
North or southbound, there is no telling how many wrecks or broken down cars or junk refrigerators you are are going to find in the roadway. Volume alone slows things to a crawl but when you throw in one of the aforementioned items, fugghedaboutit.
Pines Boulevard
Where: University Drive to Dykes Road
When: Weekends and holidays
The mass of humanity that resides in the area west of I-75 and north of Miami-Dade County is mind-boggling. And on weekends they all want to go to the Pembroke Lakes Mall or The Shops at Pembroke Gardens at I-75 and Pines Boulevard. That means they all head east on Pines on the weekend. Coming from the west is the North Miami-Dade County population and those who live in the eastern fringes of the Pines and Hollywood. To make matters even more dire, the stellar traffic engineers of Broward County have failed to synchronize the lights but miraculously found the time to put red light cameras at just about every intersection. Coincidence? I think not. Something to look forward to: the only Whole Foods in Southern Broward County opens in a couple months on the west side of I-75 at Pines.
Doral
Where: NW 25th and 36th Streets
When: Any weekday between 7 AM and 7 PM, but especially Friday afternoons
Mixing semis and cars in large amounts on secondary streets is a recipe for disaster which is exactly what you have in Doral. The industrial and cargo areas that serve MIA attract the trucks and the large number of offices and residential areas in west Doral attract the cars. It's a madhouse but even more so on Friday afternoons when the trucks are trying to make their last deliveries for the business week and the cars are getting out of the office parking lots early to start their weekends or to take their 2-hour lunches. Can anyone say gridlock?
The 836 Westbound
Where: West of NW 27th Avenue
When: Weekdays after 3:30
Okay, so maybe the same stretch of roadway is as bad headed in the opposite direction in the morning, but fortunately (or unfortunately) I've only experienced the afternoon session. Yes, everyone is piling out of downtown and heading back to Kendall, West-Miami Dade or Doral, but throw in the beautiful views of jets landing at MIA that everyone has to slow down to see and you got yourself a parking lot that will last for 3-4 hours every single evening during the week. The north side of the roadway is not the only one afflicted with the Gaze-At-The-Pretty-Planes Syndrome. South side drivers heading east also fall victim, especially when the aircraft are landing from the east.
MIA
Where: Departing The Airport
When: Anytime
You've just arrived home from a long flight, collected your luggage, settled into your car, paid for your parking and now you're finally headed home. Well, hold on bucko, because if you haven't slotted yourself perfectly coming out of MIA, you might wind up in Hialeah, on the Airport Expressway [and trust me, you do NOT want to get off before I-95], or in that weird neighborhood that exists across LeJeune and over near the Miami River where all those shady rental car places are or were. You better be in the correct lane because there is no way in hell that Haitian cab driver is letting you over to where you need to be. I avoid MIA like the plague because I live in Broward and don't fly to Central or South America very often so all these things might have changed since the last time I was there. Haven't they built some kind of new car rental center and set up a new Metrorail station? Come to think of it, maybe its gotten worse.
So those are my five. I'm willing to bet you have yours.
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14 comments:
US 1 southbound from the end of I-95 through South Miami, anytime after 3:00 p.m. on a weekday. It is stop and go the entire way, usually because of residual reaction lag time when the lights change, but sometimes it takes an hour to get from The Roads to Dadeland just because it's so crowded. Plus the lights in South Miami are not synced with the rest of the lights on other parts of the highway.
Oh, and if you don't think that one person can have an effect on the lives of thousands of others, see what happens when that person runs out of gas in the center lane between SW 17th and Bird Road.
Ugh. All of the ones you've mentioned. And 395 East on Fridays "in season" between 4p.m.-4a.m...
Kendall Drive between the Palmetto (826)and SW 137 Avenue (and possibly beyond). It is a parking lot and it takes about 3 to 4 light changes to get to the other side of which ever light you are waiting to cross.
Agreed on US1 Southbound any weekday afternoon, MB. Also US1 Northbound between Dadeland and Sunset Place is pretty rugged.
I have to say I dont really get your MIA rant though, Rick. The signs coming out of MIA are pretty easy to read and they are colored and numbered with corresponding numbers on the lanes themselves which makes it pretty idiotproof. It's been that way for about 8+ years.
Plus, anyone who travels out of MIA should know that parking there is just about the dumbest thing you could do. That shady area across LeJeune where the shady rental car agencies and walk-in porn shops are also houses the hidden gem of MIA - FastPark. Not only is it nearly 50% off of the parking fee at MIA ($8 as opposed to $15), not only is it a 3-5 minute shuttle away, not only do they have covered parking BUT you also get a free newspaper on your way in and a free ice cold bottle of water on your way out. On top of all that, if you stay for 3 days or more, they have an area in the back where you can park and get a car wash for FREE. The free car wash kinda makes up for the cement plant to the east whose dust will be on your car regardless of if you parked in covered or not. That's the only minus.
You know that I think MIA is a crap airport but that is mainly because the food choices blow, their employees are extremely rude and the baggage guys are ridiculously lazy. FastPark is the one saving grace for me. Nothing is better than waiting to get your bags and exiting the airport right as that shuttle is pulling up. I encourage everyone to use FastPark. It could mean the difference between having minor road rage on the drive home or major-that-ends-in-a-stabbing road rage on the drive home.
Maybe you should provide some suggested alternatives, if there are any...or ask for some.
Steve: as I explained in my "rant" on MIA, it's not so much that things aren't well-marked, it's that you have to battle all the other traffic jockeying for the right "slot" coming out of the airport. If you're not lined up up right, it's hard to get to where you need to be in the space and time that the road affords. Being that you use that parking service [btw, they really need to give you a week's free parking for that pitch] I'm guessing that you really haven't experienced what I'm describing in the post.
Maybe I am just an idiot, but it still gives me fits and that's what the post is about.
Anon: thanks for the idea for another post!
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don't get me started.
My sentimental least favorite is a small stretch of Bird Road between 72nd Ave and 79 Ave, dominated mostly by the Palmetto exits and, um, onxits. During rush hour, it's like Mos Eisley-- a wretched hive of scum and villainy.
I used to park at MIA all the time. About 5 years ago I started using FastPark and I havent gone back
I tried FastPark once. Better said, tried to try FastPark but ended up being burned by them. Made a reservation to park there for a week (anything longer than four days parking at MIA is better for me to take a taxi) and when I got there they told me they would not honor the reservation because the lot was filled with their frequent parkers. My choices were going back home, calling a cab and risk missing the flight or park at MIA, which I did.
So my advice is, if you want to try FastPark, call before you go and make sure they will honor the reservation.
Yeah....that's exactly the kind of surprise I need as I rush to catch my flight at MIA....no thanks.
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Ives Dairy Road in between 95 and Biscayne...Between 8 to 8....and forget about it during school hours.
I travel more than anyone I know and have never encountered any scenario even remotely close to the one Alex described. Lot has never been full, not even at Christmas. I've never called and made a reservation to park at a parking lot either. I guess maybe I'm just lucky. I wouldn't say one experience defines the entire parking lot either. But hey, hate all you want - more parking for me!
I think we already talked about this episode. It was the week of Christmas, when they say to call ahead, which I did. I'm sure it's different all other weeks. It would have been ok if when I called they said "sorry, lot is full and we are holding the spaces for our frequent customers", I understand loyalty programs, but to be told that when you arrive is just bad business.
BTW, on the topic, I agree with Rick, the lanes coming out of MIA are maddening. There are a ton of cars, half driven by people who don't park at the airport often and don't know which lane to use and half driven by cabbies who won't let you in or cut you off. The distance is also short, so it's not like you have a lot of time to get in the proper lane.
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