So ya think that Chuck Strouse is having lunch at Route 9 today? And if he is, wanna bet that tomorrow's New Times is going to report that it is the best doggone restaurant in Miami, if not America?
LK: Look, I f*ucked up. There's no other way to explain it. I was tired that night and looking at a deadline and the last thing I wanted to do is get in the car to go get something to eat. So I mailed it in.
CS: You dumbsh*t. Now all the foodies in town are tweeting about it. That pinhead Food for Thought is calling me and cross-examining me. Ever hear of Random Trixels?
LK: No, I-
CS: Yeah, him, too. They're like flies on sh*t, Lee.
LK: I'm sorry, Daddy.
CS: Too late for sorry.
LK: You know if I go down, you go down. Corporate is never gonna stand for this crap.
CS: I know, man, and I ain't ready to be a blogger just yet.
LK: So whatta we do?
CS: We save our asses, that's what we do. I'm going to post some lame excuse tomorrow saying that errors were made-
LK: Wait, wait. How about "factual errors," you know because when we use the word "fact" it sounds kinda okay.
CS: Okay,"factual errors"...and then I'll throw in something about receipts...
LK: Yeah, like who ever doubts receipts.
CS: Right. And I'll apologize to those SOB's at Route 9.
LK: Gotta do that, Daddy, gotta do that.
CS: Now here's your part. You lay low and stay away from that f*ckin' Twitter until I'm done with my apology and then-
LK: Yes! Yes!
CS: -come back on and pretend it's a big joke.
LK: Brilliant!
CS: Thanks. Act real stupid about it and make it seem like makin' sh*t up is just part of the job.
LK: *giggle*
CS: Christomighty, Lee.
LK: You know it's true.
CS: Yeah, well, just this one time play dumb about it. Listen, I gotta go get something to eat. It's been a long night.
LK: Where ya goin'?
CS: Crap, I don't know...maybe Red Light.
LK: Never been. Hey, be a guy and send me a review when you get back, I-
Hysterical. New Times has been a joke for years now. Who remembers when they were the powerhouse? Serious changes necessary, beginning with fixing this Route 9 fuck up
4 comments:
Chuck Strouse is so full of it. "It had factual errors." No, it had made-up stuff, pure fabrication.
Before, I would have said that the reviewer, Klein, needed to be fired. Now, Klein and Strouse are nothing but a stain on New Times.
*ring ring*
Lee Klein: Hello?
Chuck Strouse: What the f*ck, Lee?
LK: Daddy, I can explain.
CS: Start.
LK: Look, I f*ucked up. There's no other way to explain it. I was tired that night and looking at a deadline and the last thing I wanted to do is get in the car to go get something to eat. So I mailed it in.
CS: You dumbsh*t. Now all the foodies in town are tweeting about it. That pinhead Food for Thought is calling me and cross-examining me. Ever hear of Random Trixels?
LK: No, I-
CS: Yeah, him, too. They're like flies on sh*t, Lee.
LK: I'm sorry, Daddy.
CS: Too late for sorry.
LK: You know if I go down, you go down. Corporate is never gonna stand for this crap.
CS: I know, man, and I ain't ready to be a blogger just yet.
LK: So whatta we do?
CS: We save our asses, that's what we do. I'm going to post some lame excuse tomorrow saying that errors were made-
LK: Wait, wait. How about "factual errors," you know because when we use the word "fact" it sounds kinda okay.
CS: Okay,"factual errors"...and then I'll throw in something about receipts...
LK: Yeah, like who ever doubts receipts.
CS: Right. And I'll apologize to those SOB's at Route 9.
LK: Gotta do that, Daddy, gotta do that.
CS: Now here's your part. You lay low and stay away from that f*ckin' Twitter until I'm done with my apology and then-
LK: Yes! Yes!
CS: -come back on and pretend it's a big joke.
LK: Brilliant!
CS: Thanks. Act real stupid about it and make it seem like makin' sh*t up is just part of the job.
LK: *giggle*
CS: Christomighty, Lee.
LK: You know it's true.
CS: Yeah, well, just this one time play dumb about it. Listen, I gotta go get something to eat. It's been a long night.
LK: Where ya goin'?
CS: Crap, I don't know...maybe Red Light.
LK: Never been. Hey, be a guy and send me a review when you get back, I-
CS: Motherf-
*dial tone*
Now that is some funny shit
Hysterical. New Times has been a joke for years now. Who remembers when they were the powerhouse? Serious changes necessary, beginning with fixing this Route 9 fuck up
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