The Cooler

The Marlins stadium deal is still being talked about and a some Puerto Rican singer is getting a lot of attention for being a jerk off. That and more coming up.

A- Herald: Tighten your belt today if you're a student at Plantation High.

It's ''Pull Up Your Pants Day'' at Plantation High, where teachers are weary of seeing students walk around with saggy pants.

When a colleague suggested such a day to reading teacher Diana Carter, she didn't think much about it. But then she caught a clip of President Barack Obama being interviewed on MTV in which he said there didn't necessarily need to be a law against droopy drawers.

''Having said that,'' Obama continued, ``brothers should pull up their pants.''

''I became inspired,'' Carter said.

B- Herald: Wow. Fred Grimm takes on his own at the Herald.

The sobering facts were out there.

But they were obscured by a kind of dreamy denial that loomed over the stadium deal.

As if the unfavorable economics could be wished away.

As if the myth-laden sport of baseball (America's if not quite Miami's game), nurtured an ephemeral, unfounded optimism that this deal -- despite so many local public works projects that have gone badly -- will work out.

Call it the mendacity of hope.

[...]

Magical thinking was not just confined to county commissioners or Marlins fans. The Miami Herald's editorial page seemed to ignore the hard work of its own reporters to embrace the dream.

C- Herald: Speaking of the stadium.

Fresh from arguably the biggest victory in team history -- approval for a stadium to call its own -- the Florida Marlins still must clear a string of obstacles before ground can be broken this summer.

The biggest obstacle: borrowing more than $300 million that will go toward construction of the 37,000-seat stadium in Little Havana. To do it, the county must sell bonds -- backed by the promise of payment from tourist taxes -- in a market roiled by the worst credit crisis in decades.

Adding to the urgency, the bond sale needs to be well under way before the planned groundbreaking this summer. If the county determines it can't sell at the right price, the stadium deal can still be killed by July 1. But after that, there's no turning back.

D- Herald: What a wanker.

Police are investigating merengue star Elvis Crespo after a woman said she saw him masturbating in plain sight on an airplane from Houston to Miami last week, the Associated Press reported.

The pilot radioed ahead, and cops were waiting for him, according to a Miami-Dade police report. The Puerto Rican Grammy Award winner, 37, told them: ``I don't recall doing that.''

E- Herald: Morin.

F- Sun-Sentinel: Hollywood PD gets a license plate recognition system.

HOLLYWOOD - Meet the Hollywood Police Department's new license plate scanner. It already may have met you.

The multi-camera and scanner system, mounted on the trunk, hood, or roof of a cruiser, takes pictures as the officer drives through the city looking for stolen vehicles and criminals. The camera is capable of snooping through as many as 10,000 license plates a shift, leaving officials a bit giddy about its effectiveness.

"These things are awesome," said Hollywood Police Lt. Scott Pardon, whose traffic unit, in just a few weeks, recovered one stolen car, one stolen tag and made two arrests. Hollywood is not the only place where police cars have eyes.

G- WPLG: Yeah, but what about the taxes.

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. -- A Fort Lauderdale homeowner has decided to raffle off his multimillion-dollar home.

The waterfront mansion has six bedrooms, six and a half bathrooms, plus a gourmet chef's kitchen, saltwater pool and a movie theater.

Miles and Laura Brannan who own the home said they don't want to move, but because of the economic crisis they've had to make tough decisions, and selling their home is one of them.

With no buyers to be found, the Brannans have decided to raffle off their home.

They plan to sell 300,000 tickets at only $10 each.

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