An SFDB Weekend Morning: A Short Story

I get so many emails asking me, "Rick, could you please tell us more about your personal life and what you like to do on the weekends. You are such an interesting person." Okay, not really, but for those of you who are fortunate enough not to live in the South Florida suburbs, I thought I would relate to you how my very busy and non-productive morning went down today.

After the requisite blog posts and a swing by my dry cleaner, I made my way over to the Lowe's at University and Pines in search of sod. Yes, sod. If you own a house in South Florida, you know what sod is. I need sod to fill in some bare spots in my lawn so there I am at Lowe's asking Carlos if they carry any sod. "No sod," says Carlos, with a heavy Nicaraguan/Guatemalan/Mexican/Spanish accent. Eyebrows raise. I repeat, "No sod?" "No sod," says Carlos.

Off I go to the Home Depot at Pines and Hiatus, a couple miles down the road. "Hey, you carry any sod?" American Dude (woo hoo!!!) says, "Yeah I think there may be some in the back but...[voice trails off]" I wheel my shopping cart to the back of the Garden Center to find one square foot of yellow sod. American Dude, you disappoint me.

I decide to drive up Flamingo to look for another Home Depot I think is around there somewhere but have no luck. Decide to turn west on Griffin and start heading towards the Lowe's at Sheridan and I-75. This is turning out to be a real cluster, I think to myself. Just then I pass by a little nursery on the south side of Griffin. Aha! They have to have sod. So bang a uey and go back. I jump out of my car, grab my leather work gloves and am ready to load some sod in the back of my car, dammit.

Old Spanish Guy emerges from the foliage, greets me and I tell him I'm looking for sod. I say this as I rub my leather covered hands together, anxious to get started. "No sod," says old Spanish guy. What?! "Too wet. No deliveries this week. Maybe next week." My shoulders slump and I get back in the car cursing that today, of all days, I decided to lay some sod. I decide to continue to Lowe's and head west on Griffin to get to I-75.

On the way my spirits are lifted because I get right behind one of these...



Schweet.

I admire the lines of this beautiful Porsche and then immediately kick myself for not having my camera that I ALWAYS seem to carry with me in the car. Except for today.

I roll behind him down 75, torn between jealousy and frustration and take the Sheridan Street West exit that dumps me right at Lowe's. I walk up to the Garden Center and, intent on not wasting any more time, immediately ask a Lowe's employee [all together now], "Do you carry any sod?" "Sure," the African-American Chic says. Woo-hoo! My search is over! "Is it in the back?", I ask? "No, right out front," she says and walks out toward the entrance I just went past without seeing any sod. Uh-oh. African-American Chic gets out to the sidewalk, stops, looks right and left and announces, "Nope. No sod." Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh. So close.

By this point, I'm a broken man. I walk back to my car, throw my work gloves in the car and start to head home.

But then I ask myself, "Self, what can I do to make lemonade out of lemons? How can I make traveling 20 miles and burning through 1/4 tank of gas for nothing seem worthwhile?" And then the answer came to me.

The Fresh Market.

The Fresh Market is located at University and Sheridan which was right on my way home. I had been to this Whole-Foods-Wannabee kind of grocery store years ago and remembered it as a cool kind of place to shop. So I stopped and picked up a nice lunch (chicken breast and grilled vegees), sipped something they were giving out called cinnamon roll coffee [gak] and generally loitered for about 45 minutes in an attempt to justify my epic voyage that got me there. It was while I was lingering over their fine wine collection that I remembered: hey, today is Free Vivanno Day.

So I paid for my groceries and with a new spring to my step, hightailed it over to my favorite Starbucks on Pines just west of Douglas and picked my free cold Starbucks beverage. I rate the orange mango banana combination as very good. And even more uplifting to the soul when half your day has been shot in a fruitless attempt to find sod.

I'm back home now, obviously, and am going to try to accomplish something today before heading down to South Beach this evening in an attempt to put lipstick on what has otherwise been one pig of a day.

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