Your Morning Sift

It was a busy overnight in the SoFla blogosphere and we've rounded up the highlights for you here.

A- Bacardi & Diet has some advise advice [thanks, Carlos] for women...

Here is the thing that f*cking [edited] bugs the shit out of me. Outward appearance is important because it’s in our genes to be attracted to, and want to mate, with those who appear ‘healthy’: good skin and hair, a slim body, athletic physique, etc.. (Remember my Argentine? ;) These are our basic, most inherent needs as humans for procreation. Tack on today’s societal standards for beauty and now one must also have nice clothes, shoes, vehicles, homes, and plain old dough. This seems pretty clear to me.

So why is it that women continue to ignore these rules?? Do they actually think our entire society is going to change because they’re upset with the way things are? No, it isn’t. Again, No it isn’t. So, true to form, I’m going to give you a few tips. Stop over- eating, get your ass to the gym, fire your hairstylist, take vitamins, see a dermatologist and a dentist, and hire a professional shopper, or even a life coach if you have to. But please, please, please quit bitching about your outward appearance and DO something about it.

And now I see that Ipanemic has some thoughts and and so does Habla Mierda. Man, this must have been one helluva bla bla bla.

B- Dayngrous Discourse and family celebrate Easter. Somewhere I must have missed that face painting has become part of Easter celebrations? I only did eggs growing up but that was, literally, decades ago.

C- Miami Condos Investment has the latest rumors and tidbits in the SoFla condo biz.

There’s going to be some great additions to Midtown Miami. This one I heard from a Midtown representative last week. The two parcels of land between the Midtown shops and the two condo buildings just east of it, Midtown 2 and 4, will be transformed into a very nice park within the next 3 months. However, there are plans for an IMAX Theater to go into the northern parcel of land within the next 2-3 years. Additionally, Midblock will house a Sushi Samba and Segafredo’s relatively soon.

D- Stuff you think you need really, really loves picking up a hot dog outside of his downtown Miami residence.

The lady speaks zero English, but she will make you a dog that will take you to the heights of “pleasureworld” itself. The act of pointing to the condiments you want, and watching as she waddles her way around the cart to put the Relish and the Onions and the Ketchup and Mustard on it, is kind of primordial.

Your English speaking skills are not helping you get your dog here, no sir. Its your actions, Its communicating like a caveman might, if Cavemen lived in downtown areas of major cities with hotdog stands on the corners. Just pointing at stuff and the various grunts you have to employ, and of course the occasional ball scratching signals, that makes the process of “getting your hotdog on” all that much more rewarding is good enough for me.

Ultimately I am paying her Three dollars to get the thing. But the way we communicate, it’s like the basic Animal that we all are. It’s the equivalent of hunting down the wild Hot Dog, shooting it, gutting it in the field and then putting the ceremonial Ketchup all over her in a little squiggly type line right out there on the African VELDT. I swear to GOD I love this about my life.

E- A Mom, a Blog and the Life In-Between misses her dog, Zoë, on the anniversary of her passing.

I wish I could honor my girl in some way other than these words. I write these words because I have nothing else; because I don't want her to be forgotten; because as a loyal companion, she deserves to be remembered.

And I remember you, my Zoë. I always will.

E- Incertus disagrees with the NAACP and Rev. Al Sharpton and the way they're addressing two high profile rape cases in Palm Beach County.

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